being an educator

I'm five months in to my new job as part time tutor on a Youth Work & Ministry degree course and enjoying the challenge. It's great to be re-connecting with the acadmic side of youth ministry, getting myself up to date with reading and thinking. It's also hard slog though, getting back into the academic after a break from studies of a few years. I'm trying to stay one step ahead of the students, and hopefully doing that, but comments like the one I had yesterday from a student can knock you a bit. I was asked if I was new to lecturing and when I said yes, she replied (in a kind sort of way!) 'you can tell'. I didn't pursue this comment further at the time, but it did leave me wondering, was this because my lecture yesterday was woefully inadequate, or that I came across as nervous and timid? Or could it have been because I brought a fresh approach? Who knows, and it's probably best not to ponder on this too much!

All this teaching has led me to reflect on what being an educator is all about. I'll never forget the first meeting I had with my fieldwork tutor as a student. She introduced herself to me as 'an educator', and it's really stuck with me. I had never heard anyone call themselves an educator; a teacher maybe, but not educator - it suggested something else.

I've been reading Freire (Pedagogy of Hope, 1992), of course he was a great educator. I've been reminded that for Freire teaching is more about enabling people to 'learn', to question, to get behind what is presented and to question it. This is a style my tutor mirrored, and one I'm more comfortable with. What is more challenging for me is taking on board when Freire says that there is no neutrality in education - it is always 'directive and political'. This seems to be more about being clear where you're coming from as an educator, not afraid to state where you stand, yet in true Freire style being open to others' points of views and willing to explore them. What is challenging is that I've a lot of work to do, in all this revisiting of theories and texts, to get to grips with where I am coming from on a lot of this stuff. It means a lot more reading and thinking - hard slog, but enjoyable, as Freire says:
"The act of studying, teaching, learning, knowing, is difficult, and especially, it is demanding, but it is pleasant...It is crucial, then, that educands discover and sense the joy that steeps it, that is part of it, and that is ever ready to fill the hearts of all who surrender to it."